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If you really like spending time and hanging out with someone, you're probably wondering if they feel the same way. While it's sometimes pretty easy to tell if somebody is your friend, it never hurts to ask, especially if you want to pursue a more serious relationship with them. We know that it's a little nerve-wracking to have this conversation, but there are a lot of ways to talk about it without any stress. Keep reading for a list of different direct and indirect ways you can pose the question.

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  • Question

    How can I tell a friend that I'm not interested in them?

    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

    Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

    Licensed Relationship Therapist

    Expert Answer

    First, I'd validate their feelings and tell them that you know how much bravery that took. Then, I would just explain that your friendship is really important to you and that you don't want to compromise that. It's okay to be a little frank and straightforward too, but only if you think it's appropriate based on your relationship.

  • Question

    What can I do to figure out if someone is or isn't into me? They've been very wishy washy about flirting and not flirting.

    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

    Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

    Licensed Relationship Therapist

    Expert Answer

    If they're consistently inconsistent, there are a few things that could be going on here. They might be the type who likes playing games, in which case it might be advisable to just be straight up with them and ask what's going on. Alternatively, they could be a naturally flirtatious person. In either case, pay attention to how they interact with you when a lot of other people are around. If they pay special attention to you and they seem to gravitate towards you, they're probably interested in you.

  • Question

    How do you know if someone has feelings for you?

    Candice Mostisser

    Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.

    Candice Mostisser

    Dating Coach

    Expert Answer

    Pay attention: does this person choose to be around you when they can be around other people? Do they try to spend time alone with you? Do they seem happy when you come over to talk to them? Does their body language send signals (like, they sit with their knees pointed towards you when you're sitting at a table)? If yes, chances are they have feelings for you. But if you want to be sure, ask them to hang out together some day and see where it goes.

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  • Even if you don't get the response you were hoping for, stay polite and respectful.[14]

  • Check if the other person is making eye contact or showing physical cues, such as leaning closer to you or using the same body language as you. These could also be signs that the person likes you.[15]

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  • It's completely normal to feel nervous when you're talking to the other person. Just be honest and open about it since your friend might feel the same way.[16]

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